Forgiveness Misunderstood

Forgiving Versus Excusing

blog@cmfhq.org — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 15:00:00 GMT

I find that when I think I am asking God to forgive me I am often in reality (unless I watch myself very carefully) asking Him to do something very different. (C. S. Lewis, Virtue and Vice)

We often needlessly wander through the darkened fortress of discouragement and despair. The high hardened ramparts of our own building. Brick by brick did they rise from the hardness of our own heart. Cemented indestructible by the piteous mortar of our ever bleeding heart. We are powerless to extricate ourselves from this fallen estate because of our self-deception.

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Forgiveness Real

blog@cmfhq.org — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:18:00 GMT

Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it.... (C. S. Lewis, Virtue and Vice)

The chief cause of the current state of affairs that surround us may be viewed in the mirror....

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Must We Forgive in Every Circumstance?

blog@cmfhq.org — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:28:00 GMT

Does the Bible teach that we are to forgive under all circumstances? I answer categorically, vigorously, ardently, insistently that it DOES NOT!

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Counterfeit 2: Minimizing the Hurt

blog@cmfhq.org — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 23:12:00 GMT

You cannot heal a wound by ignoring the injury! Isn't that what we are doing when we say to ourselves that the hurt we received doesn't matter. Our tendency in these matters is to tough it out. My favorite cartoon, from my Navy days, was a picture of an old Boatswains Mate (Bos'ns Mate) whose left sleeve betrayed him as long on service and short on rank. There was an anvil, a large hammer, and his thumb with marks that showed it to be radiating with much pain. The caption read: “Goodness, I've struck my thumb!”

One of the important reasons that we have been gifted with feelings is so that we know when we are injured. Can you imagine going through life not being able to feel? Let us put this in perspective. Would Christ have said of His scourging that it didn't hurt so much? When He was hanging on the cross did He say that it wasn't so tough? What He said was, "I thirst." (John 19:21)

When I hurt, I say to my Heavenly Father, "I hurt."

Counterfeit 1: Excusing

blog@cmfhq.org — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 23:11:00 GMT

A drunken driver speeds through a school zone and strikes several children in the crosswalk. If the children's parents believe they must excuse the driver because he was drunk, they will not forgive. Excusing the drunken drive would say, in essence, that he could not help himself as was not to blame for his actions. This would be untrue.

If we look closely, we will find that "Forgiveness" is the polar opposite of excusing. Forgiveness must reach beyond excusing. Forgiveness acknowledges that drunken driving is inexcusable but pardons the offender anyway.

There may be times where there are extenuating circumstances that surround a particular event. Perhaps a close look at the circumstances will allow us to understand more fully the event and thus make allowances for those involved.

But make no mistake, excusing is not forgiveness. As C.S. Lewis notes, such excusing "is not Christian charity; it is only fair-mindedness. To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."

Life Sometimes Brings Hurt Our Way

blog@cmfhq.org — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:10:00 GMT

"We need to sort out our hurts and learn the difference between those that call for the miracle of forgiveness and those that can be borne with a sense of humor. If we lump all our hurts together and prescribe forgiveness for all of them, we turn the art of forgiving into something cheap and commonplace. Like a good wine, forgiving must be preserved for the right occasion." Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive and Forget.