Jun 3

Written by:
Thursday, June 03, 2010 8:44 AM 

 

Gossip happens in many places among different people in our society. We have entire media industries built on collecting enough information to spread rumors and start the gossip mill grinding. The motivation is clear - smut sells. For whatever reason there is a segment of our population who love the smell of dirty laundry. It happens in Hollywood, it happens in Suburbia, it happens in the military and sadly in the Church too. FRGs are notorious for being gossip and rumor laden. For this very reason a lot of wives choose to keep a safe distance from them. It's sad that the very thing created for their support is something they sometimes feel is inaccessible because gossip is not openly dealt with.

What may seem like an innocent enough moment of juicy storytelling can lead to dissension, fighting, and sometimes even to the ruin of reputations, lives and marriages. Sometimes gossip can even find its way into prayer requests and sharing information about others because we care. Not all gossip has a malicious intention, but the outcome is about the same. 

Why would anyone participate in something as destructive and malicious as gossip in the first place? 

There are a lot of reasons people actively participate in gossip. There are the “Blasé Bettys” who are simply bored. They enjoy the drama of passing on juicy information. It’s a beneficial business for them because other gossips seek them out. They can also fill the ears of the disinterested full of gossip before they even know what it was they were listening to.

Then there are the “Special Starlas” who like to show that they are special and have some tidbit of information on someone that no one else has. Of course having that juicy morsel means nothing until they can share it in order show their special position. So, share they must, and share they do!

The last of these gossip spreaders is the “Vicious Vixen!” She is just plain malicious. She enjoys spreading truths, half truths and bold faced lies because she takes pleasure in seeing other people squirm.

Regardless of intent, the outcome of gossip is generally damaging to relationships, damaging to families, and it benefits the community nothing at all.

What can you do when you find yourself cornered near the cantaloupes at the Commissary by one of the aforementioned gossips?

Be able to recognize gossip by asking yourself these three questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? and Is it necessary for me to know?

Gossip that isn’t listened is like a deflated balloon. Gossip gets its life and vitality from both mouthes and ears. Lips have to willing to speak it and ears have to be willing to hear it. There is nothing wrong or rude with telling another person that you do not want to hear talk about a third party who is not present.

Remember the Matthew 18:15 principle: "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." If your sister has made you angry then pray first and seek her out. Talk openly and honestly about how she offended you. Give her time to think about your conversation. She may react defensively at first, but assure her that you love her and want to work it out in private. 

If you participate in gossip, stop. Gossip is sin! Romans 1:29 says “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.” There really is no excuse. Apologize to the people you may have hurt in the process. Gossip is not a victimless past time. Eventually your gossip may burn vital bridges that not only hurts your own standing in the community, but your spouse and other family members may suffer as well.

If you are tempted to jump in with the gossiping crowd, always remember that those who will gossip about others will gossip about one another eventually too. As the old saying goes "all's fair in love, war and gossip!"