John 20:24-28 Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God"
The demands of military life and all of the stress that goes along with it can propel us into a constant state of worry and fretting. This is a theme in my own life, and I presume what I deal with is a 'stronghold.' My flesh loves to revel in worry. It feels natural to take the reigns and contemplate all of the possible outcomes of a situation -- no matter how dire I fear they may be. Trusting, on the other hand, is foreign. When I trust the Lord I am challenged to not lean on my own understanding. I am challenged to abandon my senses and my worries and trust fully in the divine providence of the omnipotent God. It sounds easy to do, right? Who in their right mind would choose to rely on their own shallow and limited senses instead of resting in the arms of the very Word -- who was and is and is to come?
I don't know about you, but I have never really begrudged Thomas' doubting. I have always felt a little guilty when I hear the colloquial term "doubting Thomas" as an example of a weak Christian or someone whose faith isn't what it's supposed to be.
I could never figure out why Thomas' doubting was so much worse than the others who Christ showed Himself to after His resurrection. None of the others recognized Him. The two men who Jesus met on the road to Emmaus walked a long time with Jesus and didn't recognize Him until Jesus opened their eyes. Mary didn't recognize Him at first and neither did the disciples. It wasn't the doubting that was the issue, but rather the terms of the Revelation that was the issue for Thomas.
I think it stands to reason that not recognizing Jesus is a form of doubt. None of the disciples had taken to heart that Jesus had, indeed, told them without a doubt and in clear language that He would rise again! They did not take His promises to heart. Just like believers today who struggle with fear and worry (and if His saints could win a medal for worry, Claire would win the gold!) We doubt Jesus and we don't take to heart His words and promises.
As I contemplated this passage this week it's as if, for the first time, it came to life for me! That means of course that it convicted me very deeply. I realize now it was not the doubt that was the issue. It was not the doubt that caused Thomas to settle for a lesser blessing. Thomas had not yet had the Spirit breathed on him like the other disciples. Thomas had not yet been given a Revelation of Christ. None of us, Thomas included, can drum up a revelation of the Savior on his or her own. The problem lies in Thomas' attitude and it shows up as a controlling and presumptuous type of faith. Control and presumption also happen to be a major part of worry and fret.
Thomas does not say, like the father of the possessed boy in Mark 9 who proclaimed in desperation "Lord, I believe! Help thou my unbelief!" Instead Thomas says "I will NOT believe until the terms of my unbelief are met!" Thomas set out to dictate to the Lord the terms of his faith and how he would accept a revelation. So, Jesus, lovingly and patiently allows Thomas to feel His hands and His side. Thomas immediately responds by saying "My Lord and my God!" His unbelief is lifted and Thomas rightfully proclaims Jesus as Lord and God! Thomas is blessed with the Revelation of Jesus!
Jesus tells Thomas in verse 29,"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." I was greatly encouraged when I thought of Jesus' loving response. Jesus did not rebuke Thomas for his doubts. Thomas did, however, forfeit a greater blessing by not saying "Lord I doubt! Help my doubt! Help me to see You, know You, love You!"
For every Fruit of the Spirit we are blessed with as believers there is a counterfeit we can be deceived with. For Love their is lust, for Joy there is a fleeting worldly happiness, for peace there is complacency, and the list goes on. There are other blessings that we can be tricked into forfeiting, like Thomas, by buying the counterfeit. For trust we see that in Proverbs 3:5-6 we are told to "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;"
If we trust in the LORD then we trust that we will not always understand what is happening, but the very essence of trust is an abandonment of our senses! When we come to Him with that very trust we are blessed beyond measure because we have not leaned on our understanding - an understanding that is warped and shallow.
The counterfeit to trust then is leaning on our understanding. This does not mean that we are cast out of grace, but we do forfeit a deeper sense of peace that is found in that trust. Can you imagine how much despair your own children would be in if they truly fretted about every detail of life? I don't know about you, but I am so grateful my daughter does not worry about our house payment, or our bills. Those are not her worries to carry. Now, how much more does our Heavenly Father want us to entrust all things to Him?
What worries are you carrying today that are not yours to carry? Are you worried for your deployed spouse or child? Can you abandon your own understanding of the danger they face and trust today that God is sovereign even in war zones? Can you pray today "Lord! Help my unbelief!"
Have you ever tried to tell the Lord how He should reveal Himself to you? "Lord if I only had XYZ then I could really believe!" Can you repent today and pray "Lord I love You and I trust today You will reveal Yourself to me in Your way, Your time, and will give me exacly what I need!"